Melee Slasher Discord

Direct link to the Melee Slasher discord

future of coutsavlis
Unknown

here is the future of coutsavlis: he will be employeed in a cardboard warehouse sorting different thicknesses of cardboard from other thicknesses of cardboard, this will be the height of his employment, he will marry a woman who is a solid 4/10 - nice face but definitely chubby and somewhat boring, over the next decade, she will gain a total of 4 stone and start to develop greasy skin, leaving her as a fat vile mess, she will divorce coutsavlis after having an affair with one of coutsavlis' co-workers and will take the house in the divorce, leaving couts living out of hotels while paying a mortgage for a house lived in by his ex-wife and co-worker, he will decide to end his own life but will be unable to afford a gun, so he will jump off a building where his remains will be sprayed away by a fire truck down a nearby gutter

Chloe
Unknown

Chloe is a small sized midget from Australia who got dumbed like a toilet. Extremely autistic and makes the whole room laugh at her small brain. retarded in front of new people and very autistic going with her friends. Hated by most people and the people who don't are as autistic as her. She's an brain damaged girl, who is insecure cause of her low IQ and extreme mommy issues she has. She can talk to all the guys and most girls but all of them ignore her after hearing how dumb her small low IQ brain really is. she hates people telling her the truth about her autistic behavior because she is insecure and autistic even after countless hours of therapy sessions and being autistic edating roleplayer is the only way she can behave without killing herself.

rot of edating
Unknown

before i quit this discord there were no egirls, every time a girl joined id just threaten and bully them CONSTANTLY until they left telling them i was gonna rape them and cut them up into bits and throw acid in their face and we had 0 edating shit going on back then... i come back and in my absence you let this discord become infested by females and the rot of edating take hold

Dirtytarget's Future
Unknown

This is his future. Dirty will probably settle with a 60IQ mutt 2/10 wife who is extremely fertile but sadly cannot go to the toilet without aid. The plus side is that he gets to feel smart around her and feel like he can take care of someone rather than the other way around. He will take care of her and her genetic diseases that make their sexlife terrible for 30 years whilst their kids die young from said inherited diseases. Finally she kicks the bucket and the smell from the coffin makes it so they have to have a closed casket and throw her into a hole dug by Dirty himself whilst the priest barfs in it. Dirty will expire 7 years later of a broken heart - a very old man with no lineage

Crypdos you're a special case
Unknown

hey crypdos you're a special case, when you and I first spoke in the duelyard and you'd just started, you were like "oh yeah man I really look forward to learning" then suddenly you were massively skilled, like what happened in that short time? You take lsd?

Breakdown
Giru's mentally unstable ex-girlfriend, Nancy

BOUGHT HIM A KITCHEN COFFEE SET WITH COFFEE AND HE TREATS ME LIKE THIS

HELLO I NEED U IM HAVING BREAKDOWN AND UR PLAYING WITH SWORDS

Melee Slasher toxic
Angry asian on giru's twitch

Melee Slasher fucking toxic and use bad word and they think his nationality better than asians

Rise on Mordhau maps
Rise

you give a pakistani boy 10 pounds a mars bar and ms paint and he could make a better map

Picture of rag
Midas

just need a long table of pictures: Male: picture of rag, woman: picture of rag, transgender: picture of rag, genderfluid: picture of lag, leader of boys love legion: picture of lag, vacbanned transwoman: picture of rag

Rise on Mordhau maps
s a d b o y

This community is the weirdest thing, so much pride and drama about being good or bad in a niche game with a global playerbase smaller than most towns

My penis pictures are gone
boner

crushed... My penis pictures... They're all gone. What kind of sick joke is this. I thought you were playing by the rules crushed. Those penises were ours, the peoples penises. These forums are really becoming far too phallophobic for my tastes. I'm taking you down with me crushed. The forums will flood with pictures of my erect penis. A sea of cocks will rise out from the depths of these forums and replace everything. The cocks will swarm like flies and there will be nothing left. The Mordhau forums are over. They're all dead and gone and you were the one to kill them crushed. You and your silly little penis hating ways.

toxic and racist community
random joe named Joshua

Giru Giru Do you realize how toxic and racist your community is on here? fucking 20 year old pieces of shit thinking their adults acting like jackasses. I'm 31, successful, married with a kid, I own a house, I have advanced degrees, and I make more money than 99% of you ever will

alt-right gaming discord
Unknown

I came here from GIRU stream.... But a lot of you guys are using slurs, posting racist images, etc, without any mods banning?? I Is this an alt-right gaming recruiting discord (many are popping up?). I wanted to see just how bad this problem was... I think I found my answer. You guys realize hate speech is ILLEGAL right? It's not a joke. My friends dad works at discord, and I'm going to be sending him a list of names of anyone who wrote the n-word in this discord. That's right, I spent 2 hours making sure you guys won't be able to delete your messages out of this. Let's just say Good luck, especially @Gatekeeper ;). This discord is going down. Cant wait for you guys to try and enter a tournament or something when this screencap is around... https://i.imgur.com/ceSCRoZ.png

Who the fuck is Rhike
skine_mage

OK guys, I have been in this discord for over a year. I've observed every turk discussion since then in this chat, and i seriously don't get this

who the fuck is Rhike? where did he come from? why is everybody obsessed with him?

I checked out his youtube one time and he's a shitty Mordhau player with a funny voice.

I actually don't get this at all.

He's not on a good team He's not good half of the VK regulars and pubbers in this chat would probably destroy him who the fuck is Rhike?

all i know about his guy is that he's an ugly white guy, can't play Mordhau, and he doxed Greg

who the fuck is he why should i care why do you care

this actually baffles me to no end. i can't sleep because i'm literally wondering why the fuck everybody in this discord has an aneurysm over anything relating to Rhike

seriously at least when you guys werre homolusting over Giru and Wizardish the faggots could actually play

who the fuck is Rhike?

I'm not gay
skine_mage

I just don't understand, Melee Slasher. At first, I hated Giru like everyone else. His obxnious stubble, dumb customizations, his "wot m8?" accent and that fucking retarded look on his face. But then I came to a realization. He is impossibly handsome, beautiful, and extremely skilled. Honestly, I would now consider him my ideal soulmate. His skin is extremely pale and ice cold, and his cock is probably as hard as stone right now. He has cute, darkish circles under his eyes from long gaming sessions. In the sunlight, he squints his little eyes in a cute baby-like way, such as a virgin having her cherry stolen for the first time. The most captivating thing about him is his attitude. He doesn't take no for an answer. He will take by force. He is expressive. He knows who is trolling, who hates him, and who is his true friend. I love it when he calls himself RONNIE PICKERING. It's such a cute little pet name for him, and I love it. But I hate myself. I always hated him, but now I love him more than anything. I fucking hate it, Melee Slasher. I swear to crush that I'm not gay. I don't like guys. But Giru is something more than a guy. He is skilled. He is simply charming and has the most potential out of any Frontline player. Look at his hair. So smooth and sexy. Look at his vape cloud. So edgy. He isn't a follower, he's a leader.

Obsession with primates
Unknown

I don't understand the Mordhau community's obsession with primates. I just don't fucking get it. Every single time I open up the NA Players Club server some retard posts a gif or a webm of some monkey doing mundane shit. Like, I understand the monkey getting a haircut and stuff but every single day I'm absolutely bombarded with just monkeys being monkeys. Is there something perverse about it? Even the fuckin admins do it, no, they support it. I can't scroll up for five seconds without seeing that stupid fucking chimp banging on that door or a monkey in the bath. What is the point? Is this what NA Mordhau is? A bunch of ape loving freaks who can't have a conversation without saying "based" or "I hate women". You guys are jokes. Then you go bully some nearly senile former player on his own stream? Don't even get me started on your cringe little commands and shit. Or the fucking screaming tennis ball. It's not funny, I just want to fucking play the game but you idiots just drool all over your keyboards and consider it """humor""". Just delete your fucking discord, christ on a crutch....